SSWT Internet Marketing Forum

Hello all ...

Getting ready to launch a new product soon, and was looking for some feedback on my sales copy. Any kind/unkind words are appreciated ...

(BTW, payment links are non-functional and go to a test transaction of 8 cents, so don't think you're getting a steep discount if you accidentally click on one! LOL)

http://www.milliondollarleverage.com/prelaunch06/

All the best,

Dave Navarro

Hi Dave,

I am not a big fan of the "brown" header...it doesnt seem to be clear enough for me....but other than that nice work...

Jeff Casmer

Any suggestions on a better headline as well?

Thanks,

Dave

Sorry posted it twice and coudn't delete one so just wrote this here instead .. see below

Attention Wealth Builders! Time is Money, So Get More Of It ... Here's How:

- You can try making the above stand out


- Try breaking the 60hrs a month down to days... The 60 hrs makes it look as a lot of time


- Try changing the headline color to a darker read... not brown.

- Also consider removing the shadow in the text at the bottom as it’s not so easy to read now


- Be consistent in the use of sub header color. Right now you have black and blue. The blue works better as it will help break up the page.


- To make it look like a letter, consider including

From the desk of Dave Navarro
Include date
Location even

Then begin the letter


- Align all your text to left.


- Increase the indent, to make the words per row shorter; it’s easier to read it that way.


- Use graphic, or background to highlight your bullet points, can’t see them now


- Move your earning disclaimer to the bottom of the page after the sales letter

“EARNINGS AND INCOME DISCLAIMER”


- At the bottom of the page, consider including info about all the benefits, in a nutshell. This will help lazy readers know what they will get quickly


- Do you think it’s wise to promote you forum straight away? I would suggest you block access so people don’t see what’s inside unless they register. Right now I see there’ not much traffic, and even though its just a test page, this may turn out to be negative before you get your forum going ass people will feel that not many are participating in your program … they won’t want to be the first.


- The yellow box stands out nicely, but there’s just too much going on in there, Initially I though it was just a guarantee, but there’s so much info about other things.


My 2 cents;)

Edward

Thanks so much ... building changes in now ...